Working with Behavior Issues
Unhealthy behaviors are frustrating to both parent and child. The parent is struggling to know what to do. They may be reverting to default programming to try to control the child. They may feel abused in the situation.
The child feels out of control. They don’t understand why they feel or act the way they do. They may attempt to cope with methods that are not approved or understood by the parent. Thus, the situation may escalate.
What if it’s not the child’s fault? What if there was a biological reason for the behavior? What if the underlying issues could be balanced?
Many times, the issue can be identified as a communication block in the brain, or between the brain and the body. The child could be at the mercy of a Fight or Flight response. They could be feeling the effects of an unidentified Food Sensitivity.
The brain and the body have marvelous abilities to help us survive. In our modern era, we don’t face down too many tigers, but we are faced with stress-inducing stimuli on a daily basis. School, work, relationships and social interactions (or lack of social interactions) all can overwhelm a child, allowing their body to create compensations that manifest as negative behaviors.
Behavior can be externalized, showing up as Aggression, Defiance, or inconsistent or unpredictable behaviors.. A child may go the other way and escape into more addictive behaviors that may not harm others, but are equally damaging to their mind, body or self-esteem, like drugs, alcohol, pornography, or even excess Social Media.
Respect
Learning respect may have its roots in the nervous system (i.e. in the sympathetic response vs. parasympathetic response) (vagus nerve research), or in proper nutrition, or in thinking asynchronously (one sided thinking) vs. in thinking synchronously (balanced parallel processing in mental activity). We look at the primal emotions as an indicator not as the problem. We look at the problems of memory, thinking, emotional overwhelm as another indicator – not as the problem.
Problems show with adults and children that have little respect in their behavior when the child is accused of not being empathetic. When in reality, they may have some empathy in certain situations with particular people, but not in others. They have some empathy, but due to roadblocks in the brain or the body, they may not be always able to show respect. Finding those roadblocks and helping the individual become integrated in the brain and body, gives the individual a new fresh start and they can transform their life with less pressure and less shaming and much less embarrassment.
If there is too much blame to a child or adult with a lack of brain integration, it will increase the problem. Find answers here with our programs and training. These programs augment and support the mental health field. We want to support you and your family.
Stubborn or Defiant
A stubborn child may appear to be defiant but is more often just wanting to have a say in the outcome of their life, and they don’t know how to communicate their feelings and thoughts without frustration, fear, or anxiety. However, with resistance mounting from both child and parent, some children become more and more defiant and difficult. Be sure to check with your therapist about the level of stubbornness or defiance to understand the difference. Defiance could require professional assistance.
It might be easier to understand if we use the word “resistant.” When a child is strongly resistant, it could have many causes, including addiction to video games, food sensitivities, communication issues, and brain integration, for instance, frontal lobe executive function issues.
What is the positive intention of the Resistant Child? Why is a person resistant to begin with? How can resistance be transformed into Respect? These are all things we can explore to determine what is the underlying stress causing this behavior.
Sometimes, a child feels like he is not being heard or understood. Sometimes, they feel like their boundaries are not respected. Sometimes, there are deeper issues, which, if understood may eliminate the need for this behavior.
The child feels out of control. They don’t understand why they feel or act the way they do. They may attempt to cope with methods that are not approved or understood by the parent. Thus, the situation may escalate.
What if it’s not the child’s fault? What if there was a biological reason for the behavior? What if the underlying issues could be balanced?
Many times, the issue can be identified as a communication block in the brain, or between the brain and the body. The child could be at the mercy of a Fight or Flight response. They could be feeling the effects of an unidentified Food Sensitivity.
The brain and the body have marvelous abilities to help us survive. In our modern era, we don’t face down too many tigers, but we are faced with stress-inducing stimuli on a daily basis. School, work, relationships and social interactions (or lack of social interactions) all can overwhelm a child, allowing their body to create compensations that manifest as negative behaviors.
Behavior can be externalized, showing up as Aggression, Defiance, or inconsistent or unpredictable behaviors.. A child may go the other way and escape into more addictive behaviors that may not harm others, but are equally damaging to their mind, body or self-esteem, like drugs, alcohol, pornography, or even excess Social Media.
Respect
Learning respect may have its roots in the nervous system (i.e. in the sympathetic response vs. parasympathetic response) (vagus nerve research), or in proper nutrition, or in thinking asynchronously (one sided thinking) vs. in thinking synchronously (balanced parallel processing in mental activity). We look at the primal emotions as an indicator not as the problem. We look at the problems of memory, thinking, emotional overwhelm as another indicator – not as the problem.
Problems show with adults and children that have little respect in their behavior when the child is accused of not being empathetic. When in reality, they may have some empathy in certain situations with particular people, but not in others. They have some empathy, but due to roadblocks in the brain or the body, they may not be always able to show respect. Finding those roadblocks and helping the individual become integrated in the brain and body, gives the individual a new fresh start and they can transform their life with less pressure and less shaming and much less embarrassment.
If there is too much blame to a child or adult with a lack of brain integration, it will increase the problem. Find answers here with our programs and training. These programs augment and support the mental health field. We want to support you and your family.
Stubborn or Defiant
A stubborn child may appear to be defiant but is more often just wanting to have a say in the outcome of their life, and they don’t know how to communicate their feelings and thoughts without frustration, fear, or anxiety. However, with resistance mounting from both child and parent, some children become more and more defiant and difficult. Be sure to check with your therapist about the level of stubbornness or defiance to understand the difference. Defiance could require professional assistance.
It might be easier to understand if we use the word “resistant.” When a child is strongly resistant, it could have many causes, including addiction to video games, food sensitivities, communication issues, and brain integration, for instance, frontal lobe executive function issues.
What is the positive intention of the Resistant Child? Why is a person resistant to begin with? How can resistance be transformed into Respect? These are all things we can explore to determine what is the underlying stress causing this behavior.
Sometimes, a child feels like he is not being heard or understood. Sometimes, they feel like their boundaries are not respected. Sometimes, there are deeper issues, which, if understood may eliminate the need for this behavior.